Comments on: 99 Steps http://www.52stories.net/issue-113/99-steps/ Every picture tells a story. What's yours? Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:46:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3 By: DanielleM http://www.52stories.net/issue-113/99-steps/#comment-458 DanielleM Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:49:01 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-113/99-steps/#comment-458 Wow -- nicely done! Very clever and inventive plotting with the rewards/punishments! (Remind me never to get on your bad side... :-) ) As with John's comments above, I really would have liked to get more clues about Kate's personality so that I'd have an inkling of whether or not she deserved this treatment. You did a great job of describing her physical ordeal, and with moving the action forward and building up the suspense. I hope to see a continuation of this one! Wow — nicely done! Very clever and inventive plotting with the rewards/punishments! (Remind me never to get on your bad side… :-) ) As with John’s comments above, I really would have liked to get more clues about Kate’s personality so that I’d have an inkling of whether or not she deserved this treatment. You did a great job of describing her physical ordeal, and with moving the action forward and building up the suspense. I hope to see a continuation of this one!

]]> By: johnRibar http://www.52stories.net/issue-113/99-steps/#comment-408 johnRibar Sat, 29 Sep 2007 20:55:57 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-113/99-steps/#comment-408 Okay, this is a good intense tale. Lots of details, lots of suspense. There are a few places where I am not sure about word selection, and a few too many commas, but a good final edit would fix them both. the only problem I have with the story is that it was hard for me to really get into it. About half way through, I had been with the girl long enough to want to see what happened. But at the beginning, there wasn't much of a hook, other than morbid curiosity, to keep me going. Maybe just a little more backstory (just a little), or a little more time on the beach getting to know the girl. Where was she last night? What did she do for a living? But that is pretty minor. Overall, a really good read! Okay, this is a good intense tale. Lots of details, lots of suspense. There are a few places where I am not sure about word selection, and a few too many commas, but a good final edit would fix them both.

the only problem I have with the story is that it was hard for me to really get into it. About half way through, I had been with the girl long enough to want to see what happened. But at the beginning, there wasn’t much of a hook, other than morbid curiosity, to keep me going. Maybe just a little more backstory (just a little), or a little more time on the beach getting to know the girl. Where was she last night? What did she do for a living?

But that is pretty minor. Overall, a really good read!

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