(7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
Loading …“There it is!” shouted Dr. Perlman. He directed the small party’s attention toward the white building piercing through the gloomy green of the delta hills rising before them.
“It’s beautiful,” said Kate, turning in her seat to catch the full view. “Are you sure it’s safe here?”
“Trust me Kate, there is no one within a hundred miles from here,” Dr. Perlman reassured her.
Kate Larsson was brought to this tropical sanctuary on her own accord after talking with Dr. Perlman. He was a geneticist specializing in mutations and cancer research and had approached Kate after hearing about her special situation. It was here she hoped that the doctor would be able to help her discover the source of her mutations and possibly find a cure for her. It was on this that they differed in opinion.
“Just think, Kate,” Dr. Perlman continued. “Here we’ll be able to discover the root of your gifts and find a way to hone them to a greater advantage, without all the hubbub of the media bothering us.”
“I told you, Doc, I want to find a way to get rid of this, not make it better,” Kate said, rubbing her forearms.
“Oh Kate, dear, I wish you would reconsider. Think of the good we could accomplish if we could harness the power of your gifts instead of destroying them! I keep telling you it’s not a cancer. It’s something much more. Something much greater!”
“So how exactly do we get up there?” Kate diverted the topic.
“We’ll have to go off to the left here, into this waterway,” Dr. Perlman answered. “It leads back behind to the lab headquarters. The entrance is very well hidden. The only people I’ve ever seen here were here on my invitation.”
They entered the estuary on the left and sped their small craft against the current, looped around to the right and passed what appeared to Kate to be a group of ancient fallen boulders covered in moss. As they came closer, Dr. Perlman pushed a button on a small remote, moving the boulders to each side and revealing a smaller inlet leading back to the coast. They entered this smaller waterway and the boulders sealed behind them. They peacefully rode on surrounded by green, through overhanging trees and moss, and came to a small, sturdy dock behind Dr. Perlman’s lab and anchored themselves to it. As they gathered their belongings, however, Dr. Perlman studied the lab’s surroundings and said in a low voice, “Something’s not right.”
“Hmm?” Kate asked and looked up at the staring doctor. He was frozen, mouth open. She looked to where he gaped and saw a large shadow along the side of the small white building that seemed out of place. It moved.
Kate dropped one of her bags and clenched her fist. From the back of her right arm extended a foot-long narrow bone-like blade above her hand.
“No one within a hundred miles from here, you say?” Kate scoffed.
“Who’s there?!” Dr. Perlman shouted. “This is private property!
The shadowed figure stirred and stepped from behind the building into the light.
“What the hell is that?!” Kate said, dropping her other bag. She balled her fists and another identical bone blade extended from her other arm.
The figure before them was nothing they had seen before. It appeared to be human, only it was not. It walked on two legs, but had a long seething snout with bared teeth like a wolf or a bear. It dropped to all four legs and began to stalk toward the dock.
“Get down,” Dr. Perlman said, reaching for the rifle still in the boat.
“Maybe these things are a gift after all,” Kate conceded. “I didn’t think I’d have to use them this way again.”
The hulking creature came closer and lunged.
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Only two complaints about this story:
1. I wish there was more of it. It was just getting good!
2. I wish the protagonist had a “gift” that was a bit more original. The Wolverine/claws thing is cool and all, but it doesn’t capture my imagination as much as it could have. You piqued my curiosity in the beginning of the story by discussing a form of cancer that could be a bane or a gift. If the manifestation had been something that made me think, “That’s cool! Why didn’t I think of that?!?” it would have put this one over the top.
Well written story. I hope you submit more of it later. It’s got the makings of a real page-turner.
MORE MORE MORE. I want to see the battle. I want to see the experiments to get the bone blades gone. I WANT MORE!!!
This was good. I had some problems reading it due to sentence structure, but the flow was good. Just too short. Another, umm, 1000 words would have been good
Just kidding.
Good story, had me hooked from the beginning.
Always leave them wanting more…
I know I ripped off Wolverine. You caught me! I was just trying to “finish” the story for this week and had to go to bed. I should have taken the few extra minutes and given her some sort of physical strength, extending tentacles, or shapeshifting awesomeness, but there it is. Thanks for taking the time to read and critique. Hopefully I make the readers want more. Maybe another 1000 words or so. Oh wait…
I like how you leave two cliffhangers — first the reader wants to know how the present situation is going to work out, and then you want to know the history behind Kate saying “I didn’t think I’d have to use them this way again.” Definitely sounds like an interesting backstory there, too!
Okay, more please. The secret lair, genetic mutations. . .great chemistry for a story here. I’ve got to think the lunging creature is there seeking help, but maybe not. . . At least write enough to get us through the battle
I like what you’ve done here. You may want to reconsider the title, as it answers a question you may not wanted answered from the get-go. Then again it may be magicians patter and misdirection. Just a thought.
Nicely started
Skought, maybe “the gift” is the thing skulking through the woods…
Lots of nice cliff-hangers. Lots of places the story could go.