Comments on: Ole Green Eyes http://www.52stories.net/issue-108/ole-green-eyes/ Every picture tells a story. What's yours? Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:40:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3 By: James Warrenfeltz http://www.52stories.net/issue-108/ole-green-eyes/#comment-152 James Warrenfeltz Sun, 02 Sep 2007 01:46:23 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-108/ole-green-eyes/#comment-152 Wow. What FUN this story is! I loved these lines; hat cute little fake laugh that guys always seemed to find irresistible He was working.. after all. Sure.. Working on Sara. And, of course the closing line. For a short short story, this was full of twists - enough so that the audience, though they think they are ahead of you, are actually not- of course everyone knows that Jake and Sara are planning a surprise party, but then there's the gun, which not everyone will foresee, and then it's a watergun, which is a surprise, and it's full of bleach, which is a GREAT surprise. Loved it! My only question; Why did her father give her a water gun, and insist she know how to use it? Wow. What FUN this story is! I loved these lines;

hat cute little fake laugh that guys always seemed to find irresistible

He was working.. after all. Sure.. Working on Sara.

And, of course the closing line.

For a short short story, this was full of twists - enough so that the audience, though they think they are ahead of you, are actually not- of course everyone knows that Jake and Sara are planning a surprise party, but then there’s the gun, which not everyone will foresee, and then it’s a watergun, which is a surprise, and it’s full of bleach, which is a GREAT surprise. Loved it!

My only question;

Why did her father give her a water gun, and insist she know how to use it?

]]> By: Skought http://www.52stories.net/issue-108/ole-green-eyes/#comment-126 Skought Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:20:07 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-108/ole-green-eyes/#comment-126 It would be interesting if she had used real ammo... but I like how you flip-flop perceptions. For a while I thought she was insane - then not... you played my like a fiddle in a short time. Well done. It would be interesting if she had used real ammo… but I like how you flip-flop perceptions. For a while I thought she was insane - then not… you played my like a fiddle in a short time. Well done.

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