Comments on: Retirement Home http://www.52stories.net/issue-105/retirement-home/ Every picture tells a story. What's yours? Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:01:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: James Warrenfeltz http://www.52stories.net/issue-105/retirement-home/comment-page-1/#comment-53 James Warrenfeltz Fri, 10 Aug 2007 23:41:49 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-106/retirement-home/#comment-53 This story seems a full, fleshed out story, something that has a ring of reality and truth to it (compared to your other story this issue, which I thought seemed like more of a sketch). Lizzie and John seemed to be real people, that really knew each other- I'm wondering if you based them closely on people you know, or did you create them wholecloth? Either way, excellent characterization. I'd have to repeat the quibble on the title- it does ruin what could be a nice surprise for both the reader and Lizzie. This story seems a full, fleshed out story, something that has a ring of reality and truth to it (compared to your other story this issue, which I thought seemed like more of a sketch).

Lizzie and John seemed to be real people, that really knew each other- I’m wondering if you based them closely on people you know, or did you create them wholecloth? Either way, excellent characterization.

I’d have to repeat the quibble on the title- it does ruin what could be a nice surprise for both the reader and Lizzie.

]]> By: Tom http://www.52stories.net/issue-105/retirement-home/comment-page-1/#comment-50 Tom Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:15:16 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-106/retirement-home/#comment-50 Nice details of her walking blindfolded. The way you described the sounds and smells created strong imagery. I agree with Martha that the title foreshadowed the ending. Nice details of her walking blindfolded. The way you described the sounds and smells created strong imagery. I agree with Martha that the title foreshadowed the ending.

]]> By: Martha Cox http://www.52stories.net/issue-105/retirement-home/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Martha Cox Mon, 06 Aug 2007 20:29:57 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-106/retirement-home/#comment-47 I loved the affection and sensuality between the characters, especially given that they are apparently old enough to be contemplating a retirement place (hey we aren't dead yet!). And no yard to take care of! ;) I did pretty much know from the get-go that the surprise was a retirement home, though, based on your title. If you want the reader to be surprised along with the wife you might think of a different title. Sweet story. Nice gift! I loved the affection and sensuality between the characters, especially given that they are apparently old enough to be contemplating a retirement place (hey we aren’t dead yet!). And no yard to take care of! ;) I did pretty much know from the get-go that the surprise was a retirement home, though, based on your title. If you want the reader to be surprised along with the wife you might think of a different title. Sweet story. Nice gift!

]]> By: Skought http://www.52stories.net/issue-105/retirement-home/comment-page-1/#comment-44 Skought Mon, 06 Aug 2007 17:29:30 +0000 http://www.52stories.net/issue-106/retirement-home/#comment-44 This is a great line. “No, I’ve got better ways to get rid of you when the time comes.” Nice story. This is a great line. “No, I’ve got better ways to get rid of you when the time comes.”
Nice story.

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