52stories

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Sir,

I guess I should get the big secret out there first. I am nuts. Ha, see I can at least laugh at myself. The problem with being crazy is not the moniker, but actually the anonymity until your cover is blown. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Exactly my point. People are unforgiving until they believe. You MUST believe that somewhere in my mind something isn’t quite right. Once you do, all my foibles, follies, well, blunders, can be forgiven. Until you realize there are bats pooping in my belfry, you get upset with me, you frown, you mistrust. Had I millions I could be promoted from crazy to eccentric. I don’t have millions, but I get by. Currently I come up with ideas for video games. You don’t believe me do you? No, of course not. How could a woman who keeps only Kleenex in her purse actually contribute to society? Well just because I fall under the umbrella of unbalanced, it doesn’t mean I can’t function? I have ideas, loads of them. Most are discarded, but I type them up anyway. Not convinced? I’m not surprised. Ever heard of Guitar Hero? Of course you haven’t, but believe me. Every electronics store in the world has a demo if it out right now. I didn’t invent it, but I came up with the idea that became FreQuency. I sold it to a company, and have broken my contract telling you this. Anyway, a couple of iterations later and boom, you have Guitar Hero. Oh well, the money is gone, so who cares right?

Now you’re asking yourself how can a kook come up with something like that. Well, I’m getting to it. I was on a dock one day, early morning. The sun was rising, the birds just beginning to squawk. It was cold, and I had my jacket pulled tight. Everyone walking out here would look at the waves, the boats, the birds. Not me. I’m fixated on the deck, the plants, the shadows. I can feel the movement of the ocean pushing me almost imperceptibly higher then a slow slope down with the waves. Again and again. I feel the movement, and I look down the pier. Like unblemished sheet music, I could just see the energy coming at me from afar. I knew I could dodge it, or inhale it. I played my game for hours, before going home to write up the idea. At first the games sold moderately well, until recently, with the fake guitar people buy, it’s really taken off.

So, what else does a loon do with her time? I like to read. There is no category for me in the library. I’m definitely above the children’s books, but I like to go in there and look at the colors. Why do ‘adults’ hate color so much? I love color. I have so many crayons at home. Young adult books are good. I don’t like their pre-teen story lines. But classics and contemporary novels are over my head. I’ve tried magazines, but there isn’t much that interests me in them, too many commercials. Are they called commercials in magazines? I’m pretty sure they are. I’ve found a few gems. I like Nancy Drew. The older books are just as good as the newer books. They already have a Nancy Drew game, so I didn’t suggest that one to my bosses.

Now I’m making dinner. Dinner is the least important meal of the day. It has to be right? I mean everyone knows breakfast is the MOST important meal of the day. Dinner is furthest from breakfast, so it only makes sense. I still eat supper anyway. Noodles are good, and cheap. I like spam, and also I eat grapes. These things don’t have to be cooked. I tried cooking, but the stove never lit. I got really sick, and the nice man that found me said he was surprised I didn’t die. Clearly dinner isn’t worth dying over. Breakfast maybe, but not dinner. I eat my dinner at five every night, because that’s when Family Feud comes on. I get so mad when the players don’t listen to my suggestions. I shout them out as loud as I can. I’m kidding, I know they can’t hear me. So that’s my life. I like TV and books.

I have many questions about you. What is your life like? I hope that isn’t too probing. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, I’m not really sure what to say next. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Love
Julia Harrelson

~~~

Julia,

Thank you for responding to the ‘Care-to-Cons’ program. Your letter has been received and reviewed. During that review process, we have determined your safety will be put at risk, should you be enrolled in a two way conversation with any of our inmates. The men housed here are not at all as trusting and open as you are, and your letter, falling into the wrong hands will lend itself for them to try and take advantage of your current situation. I hope you understand we are refusing to approve your submission.

Take Care,
Warden Harold G. Flock